Bad day on my birthday

Salam,

Bertemu lagi kita di sini. Nak kata rajin x lah rajin, instead sungguh malas hari ni. Malas nak bgn, malas nak pergi keje, malas smuanya lah. Kejadian semalam (on my birthday actually) masih terbawa-bawa ke hari ni.  It was disaster. I am expecting a calm, peaceful and everything just fine but unfortunately it isnt. Akhirnya mereka yang tak bersalah menjadi mangsa. Im sorry, abg korg memang mcm ni. Nampak jer tenang, senyum sokmo but inside, sekali terkena semua jadi mangsa. I need to work on that. Insyaallah everything will be better next time. 

aurafitra

My birthday today

Salam,

Its been a while huh tak jenguk kat sini. And today, terajin nak jenguk. Its my birthday lah today. Getting older la..Anyway, bersyukur im still here, living my life to the fullest, masih di berikan umur utk menjadi khalifah di sini. Syukur dgn apa yg ditakdirkan dan di berikan as i belive perancangan Allah lebih baik. Just wanna be a better as a person and a Muslim, a devoted one. Insyaallah..

Aurafitra

Alhamdulillah

Salam

1st of all, im updating thru my handphone. So its quit not as usual as always. So,This past few weeks has been fantastic.Its really are fantastic. Theres a few things thats happened in my life where its quit hard to belive actually happening. So thank you God for making my life so bless. Even sometimes im thinking of well what are You planning for me. Why do i have to be like this and that, it just vr frustrating thinking my destiny. And now i believe, there is always another door open when theothers closed for you. And this my door and im thankfull for what i have now. Thank you for blessing my life. 

Thats all lah fo today. Actually im trying updating this thru my hp, as its not working before.Mana tau jadi pulak hari. So itu jer lah matlamatnya. So selamat menyambut hari Ramadhan yang mulia. Let us togwther make it this Ramadhan more precious than before. (apa lah yg aku try tulis ni)

Salam,

Tiada kata pembuka biacara, bicara manis menusuk kalbu, kalbu sungguh hari ini, ini sudah hari jumaat. Haha kegilaan teserlah di saat dan ketika ini. Saja nak berupdate. Dah lama sangat, walaupun kepenatan itu sungguh terasa, nak tak nak kena lah update. Keje macam dah tak ingat dunia dah sekang. ini lah balasannya. Penat all the time. Doesnt even have time for my self!!!! 

Tak lama lagi dah nak puasa dan seterusnya raya. Aku dah pkir saya nampak, tapi malangnya, still bekerja di hari raya. Dah getting used to it kot, Kot lah, mana lah tau hari raya tu still menangis juga, walaupun di dalam hati. Sekarang apa yang aku nak tunggu sangat ni ialah my CAR!!!! Surprise. Im buying a car. Cam tak percaya kan? Aku pun tak percaya aku beli kereta. Tapi selagi x dapat keretanya, jangan lah over excited. Nanti tak dapat pulak. Agreement dah sign, just tunggu ketibaannya. X sabarnya rasa. This is the biggest investnment ever yet in my life. Harap berbaloi. Kereta apa? Tunggu...... Yang pasti, im tired, to death ok. Working like 16 straight days and still counting the daysss tho. Tak per lah, at least by working, sbnrnya cure kepada segala masalah. masalah yang di luar keje lah kan. Masalah keje nak tak nak kena juga hadapi.

Oklah, thats enough. Isyak is calling me. One more thing, im buying with my own money, OK. Kena stres kan kat sini sebab ada yang bangga uar2 kan beli itu and ini, padahal herm, faham2 lah. Cakap lebey, tindakan tak dak baik tak payah wahai insan... 

aurafitra

Am i BAD GUY????

Salam,

Dear My Future,

Hari ni hari yang perlu diingati bukan sahaja untuk diri sendiri tapi kita semua, berfikir samada kita ni jahat atau baik? It was just a mukaddimah for my writing (ceh) as i am thinking whether i am a bad guy now. I like to remembering this day when i was standing or sitting in the chair, reading all the emails, status in any social networks available 10-20 years ahead. Maybe there is no more facebooking or twittering or whatever it is, but there will be something new every bodies talking about, sure it is!! What we have done, good or bad, its gonna be historic and that is something that we will remember for like the whole life. There's a time where we going to talk about this maybe with our children, partner or anybody elses in the world though just like what im doing right now. (entah apa aku mengarut).

The points is, ive been thinking of what i've done a few month back to date! Maybe or (not maybe), apa yang telah aku lakukan menyakitkan hati atau perasaan atau apa sahaja sesetengah orang di sini. I dont know, for real whether i'm the one yang sakit or the others. Its hard to be 'that good' although we've trying as hard as we can but the truth is, it still happen. Reading all those comment and status update make me wonder, am i the bad guy here? Yeah, ada saat dan ketika di mana aku rasakan yang aku menyesal dengan apa yang telah aku lakukan, dan bukanlah aku setuju dengan apa yang aku lakukan. My doing is totally wrong. But, (why theres always a 'but'?) only Allah knows what i've been keeping inside the whole time. Its not easy, but gotta accept what others assume of me, as this is my doing. Whatever people called me, bitch, biatch, dayus, or whatever it is, terimanya dengan redha, itulah balasan of my wrong doing though. Admited that this is totally wrong, but bare in mind, i'm not that bad. Theres always a reason for anything that has happened in our live, it just hard to really find that reason, hanya mereka yang melakukannya dan Allah sahaja yang tahu. Am i the bad guy? Yes i am if u doesnt know whats inside, and please dont asking whats inside coz its a secret, otherwise, its not a secret. 

Enough for today session. i will, someday make it another session in here.Apa yang telah terjadi, telah pun terjadi, dan bukanlah sesuatu yang boleh diulang. I'm sorry for any of my doing yang sakitkan hati sesiapa sahaja di luar sana, or even myself, believe it, theres always a light at the end of the tunnel. And one thing, forgiveness, by forgiving someone, is not that we are a loser, its just the act of remembering and let it go. (senang la, buat jahat minta maaf jer, yes it is. kalau x senang x buat, kan?)

aurafitra

LICENSE

Salam,

Salam,

My first ever license.. hahaha Akhirnya, berjaya juga aku mendapatkan this license. Now im waiting for the right time buying a car. WHAT????? Hahaha Thats what im waiting and aim for. Its all on me. Not gonna use even a little from my parents. Hopefully. Cukuplah menyusahkan diorg selama 25 tahun, this time all my own. Walaweh...  Its been a few month ive been looking for the answer to come, but the truth is, never showed! And its been a few years ive been waiting since my graduation, its still didnt come. Im tired of waiting, to be honest, but waiting is like my buddies now. Semuanya bergantung kepada ALLAH, whatever yg terjadi, semuanya ketentuan ILAHI. Im just hope that it will be arriving anytime soon.. 

Aku tak tau apa yang aku mengarutkan, and now i'm just wanna how proud of me to have this license tho.. hahaha maaf nya tok, lambat sikit duit.. duit dah habis.. hahaha VIA MY OWN MONEY...

aurafitra

Dear F

Salam,

Dear D,

Its been a while since my last post though, but here i am. That is what important right? I'm still lacking off commitment issue but i'm working on it. So many things have happened in my life this past few month, but the most important things is, i'm still breathing and live my life here. 

Past is past, whatever happened in this life, forget it. Its hard, but i believe i manage. Its only me, and no one else knows what i've been through. Sometimes its hard, harder than i can imagine but the truth is,i have to face it, by myself. Finally, as a muslim, back to Allah, coz only He knows what best for us. 

aurafitra 

Realistic

Salam,

Sungguh lama rasanya menyepi dari dunia maya ni. Agak lama lah juga tu walaupun rasanya macam baru dua minggu maybe. Dua minggu tu menyepi dari segala dunia ni rasanya quit accomplishment lah kan bagi diri aku ni. Almaklumlah, dunia sekarang di hujung jari. Dapat elak dari segala godaan dunia ni satu yang amat di banggakan lah. Now i'm back, although i believe ini bukan comeback secara keseluruhan as i still searching the lights yang masih kabur walaupun sedikit sudah terpancar cahayanya. And i believe theres always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Herm, untuk mencari diri secara keseluruhannya bukanlah mudah. Apa yang kita nak dan tak nak, apa yang kita nak perbetulkan dan apa yang harus diteruskan, semua nya memerlukan kesungguhan dan bantuan dari Yang Esa. Kerana itulah aku perlu elak dari segala godaan dunia yang mana aku percaya ianya dapat menghilangkan fokus dalam menangani all kind of crisis yang sedang aku hadapai. Beberapa minggu kebelakangan ni, it was one hell of a week. It really was. Sampai satu masa yang yang i said to myself 'this is enough! Cant take it anymore' dan jalan keluarnya adalah dengan quit daripada semua ni. Inilah pertama kalinya aku tak dapat nak handle semua perkara yang datang dalam satu masa yang sama sampai aku rasa aku hilang diri aku. Once i felt like that, its hard to find the real me! Of coz, kesannya, aku menjadi seorang yang terlalu asing sampaikan aku bertanya balik, adakah ini sebenanrnya Fikri? Sungguh mudah untuk menjadi orang lain dari menjadi diri sendiri sebenarnya. Hipokrit. Nak tak nak itulah yang sebenarnya kita kena aplikasikan terutamya bila kita ni terlalu mementingkan perasaan orang lain dari diri sendri. Akhirnya, perasaan orang lain dah tak dikisahkan and lantaklah apa yang orang lain nak katakan. 

And now i'm still looking the real me! Banyak sangat dalam halangan mencari diri ni sampai tak dapat2. Susah betulkan? Dia ada kat dalam diri ni, macam mana nak keluarkan dia dari tempat tersembunyi, i have no idea buat masa sekarang. Ini bukan lah identity crisis as i still me, man and gentleman ok. Hahaha it was what we called...... call jer lah apa2 pun as long as kita sendiri faham. i dont need those expert as i believe i am the one who knows myself rather than orang lain. Fullstop!!! 

aurafitra

Jodoh

Salam,

Long day. From the very first i open my eyes, got this feeling its gonna be a great day. Turn out. Its great. First i'm having nice nasi lemak for breakfast and then got a called from my i mean one of my best friend for lunch together. Its been a while since i met him, and i dont even knows when the last time is. Its just long. Like just what had happened with my blog though. Did not update since you know when and i know when?? Dont think so.. hahaha. We've been catching up with each others life of coz work, none others and hate to say, a little bit envy with what he had. Haha Its not that not grateful and thankful with what i have now, tak salah nak jeles ngan org on certain cause but jealous in other, not acceptable hahaha. Ops. Of coz we have Mcdonald for lucnh. What else can it be we i tallked about this friends huh? hahaha About a hour then, i'm back at work. Argh man, very frust lah. To be honest this is my first time going out for lunch. Make it worse one hour man! Hahaha who cares, i'm incharge. But i do care deep inside lol. Hahahaha Then back home something happened. What happened? Nantilah, not the righttime lah. To be honest from the very fist when the permison to ask something i know this is something. Hahaha So oklah keep going and my heart is pounding at somepoint. This is really happening. It is though.. so keep goin and going lah.. hahaha its feb the fitfh lol 2012. 

aurafitra

Apa-apa aje!!!!

Salam,

Herm, desperately! Kena update. Kalau tak, sekadar melepaskan batuk (batok) di tangga. Mana satu yang betul, tanyalah pihak yang betul. Kalau kita bertanya kepada mereka yang tak betul, memang tak betullah kita. back to topic balik, So hari ni apa-apa lah kat blog ni untuk update. Currently something yang betul-betul mengganggu diri adalah perkara di tempat kerja. Aduh. Pening dan sungguh memeningkan. Why something like this happening to me? Walaweh.. tak elok merungut mengeluh kesah. Tapi apakah jalan yang terbaik? Betullah kata pepatah kerana nila rosak susu sebelanga. Persoalannya adakah kita jenis yang tak boleh terima teguran? Kerana satu teguran merosakkan semuanya. Cukuplah. Kerana ego bukan sahaja diri sendiri orang sekeliling jadi mangsa. Bagi aku? Banyak yang kena perbaiki. terutamanya macam mana nak handle all this kinds of problems. I hate problems! To be truth. But its not life if theres no problems. The difference on how we handle the problems. Kan? Last but not least, dengarlah apa yang di perkatan, jangan melihat siapa yang berkata. Walah!

aurafitra