Salam,
Dear My Future,
Hari ni hari yang perlu diingati bukan sahaja untuk diri sendiri tapi kita semua, berfikir samada kita ni jahat atau baik? It was just a mukaddimah for my writing (ceh) as i am thinking whether i am a bad guy now. I like to remembering this day when i was standing or sitting in the chair, reading all the emails, status in any social networks available 10-20 years ahead. Maybe there is no more facebooking or twittering or whatever it is, but there will be something new every bodies talking about, sure it is!! What we have done, good or bad, its gonna be historic and that is something that we will remember for like the whole life. There's a time where we going to talk about this maybe with our children, partner or anybody elses in the world though just like what im doing right now. (entah apa aku mengarut).
The points is, ive been thinking of what i've done a few month back to date! Maybe or (not maybe), apa yang telah aku lakukan menyakitkan hati atau perasaan atau apa sahaja sesetengah orang di sini. I dont know, for real whether i'm the one yang sakit or the others. Its hard to be 'that good' although we've trying as hard as we can but the truth is, it still happen. Reading all those comment and status update make me wonder, am i the bad guy here? Yeah, ada saat dan ketika di mana aku rasakan yang aku menyesal dengan apa yang telah aku lakukan, dan bukanlah aku setuju dengan apa yang aku lakukan. My doing is totally wrong. But, (why theres always a 'but'?) only Allah knows what i've been keeping inside the whole time. Its not easy, but gotta accept what others assume of me, as this is my doing. Whatever people called me, bitch, biatch, dayus, or whatever it is, terimanya dengan redha, itulah balasan of my wrong doing though. Admited that this is totally wrong, but bare in mind, i'm not that bad. Theres always a reason for anything that has happened in our live, it just hard to really find that reason, hanya mereka yang melakukannya dan Allah sahaja yang tahu. Am i the bad guy? Yes i am if u doesnt know whats inside, and please dont asking whats inside coz its a secret, otherwise, its not a secret.
Enough for today session. i will, someday make it another session in here.Apa yang telah terjadi, telah pun terjadi, dan bukanlah sesuatu yang boleh diulang. I'm sorry for any of my doing yang sakitkan hati sesiapa sahaja di luar sana, or even myself, believe it, theres always a light at the end of the tunnel. And one thing, forgiveness, by forgiving someone, is not that we are a loser, its just the act of remembering and let it go. (senang la, buat jahat minta maaf jer, yes it is. kalau x senang x buat, kan?)
